Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize