Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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