Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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