A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
