HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just cut my nipple shaving
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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