Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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