i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
