I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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