my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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