I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
