I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
