god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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