You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
