We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
