I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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