My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
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it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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