i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
40s are totally the cure
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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