i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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