what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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