She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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