a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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