She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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