i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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