I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize