What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
