let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
