are you still at the devil's house?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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