I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize