I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
