Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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