I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
