My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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