She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
