Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
