I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
