I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize