is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
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I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
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Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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