Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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(850): View more from Florida

You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

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(206): View more from Washington

Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

What happened to you last night?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

SO. MANY. SHOTS.

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