birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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