pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize