You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
