random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
