dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
