the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize