how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
