Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
