I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
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You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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