"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
