She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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