isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
