i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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