Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
